Dear Professor Brad,
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself as a
student in the TLM1010 course. My name is Roy Yong Jin Yao, currently an
undergraduate pursuing a degree in Telematics in Singapore Institute of
Technology (SIT). I had graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP) with a diploma
in mechatronics engineering specialised in automation. I was able to gain an
overview understanding of engineering through this diploma during my time in
NYP.
My passion for engineering was sparked by curiosity and a
challenge to myself to understand more about how the hardware and software are
linked to complete machine function. Although the learning curve for the
fundamentals of engineering was steep, the curiosity grew even deeper. During
my polytechnic Final Year Project (FYP) I was tasked to write a set of
programming in myRIO and a training guide regarding it for our machine to
operate with records from seniors who have created something similar. I was
exposed to many applications through the school portal news with an explanation on what fellow school student has made during their FYP. The experience helps me during my own FYP as background knowledge references.
I felt that my ability to communicate has improved through
National Service. I was blessed to be in a unit which has great communication
culture where we could freely give suggestion if we have an effective way to complete the task. I was required to give presentations to the superiors to present an overview of the
performance of the whole unit. I was able to develop my ability to speak coherently even when dealing with difficult people groom me to be better. I had difficulties in the difference between communicating in speaking, writing and thinking as I get more nervous through
communicating with my superior if I am foreign with the topic itself.
My goals for this course would be able to communicate effectively
under stress and to be able to answer straight to the point. I hope that I will be able to communicate the message clearly and motivate others to act on it with no doubt.
Yours sincerely,
Roy Yong Jin Yao
Edited on 21 November 2019
Commented on Javier Ng
Commented on Michelle Choo
Commented on Liu Chuang Yuan
Commented on Michelle Choo
Commented on Liu Chuang Yuan
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ReplyDeleteDear Roy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this interesting and fairly complete self introduction. You've followed the model presented in class quite closely and produced a letter that addresses each element requirement with a bit of detail. I appreciate the info about your study background and passion for engineering as well as the open explanation of your strengths and weaknesses in communication.
In that regard, it's good to know, for instance, how much National Service impacted you.
It's a bit unclear to me though what you mean by the challenges of "the difference of communicating in speaking, writing and thinking."
You also state that your NS unit had "open suggestion on ways to improve the work progress." What does that mean?
In terms of goals, you write that you'd like to communicate more "effectively" under stress. In terms of non-stressful communication in general and written language use in specific, you need to review the following:
1. word use/phrasing
-- in TLM1010 course > (word accuracy) in the TLM1010 module
-- was sparked of > (use of proposition) was sparked by
-- with records from senior who have created something similar. > (use of plurality to show generality)
with records from seniors who have created something similar.
-- exposed to many applications that our school student > (just in student?)
-- and open suggestion >
-- I have required give presentations > (verb form use?)
-- in speaking lucid and coherent ? (wrong word forms)
-- in the difference of communicating in speaking, writing and thinking > in the difference between communicating in speaking, writing and thinking
2. sentence structure
-- My name is Roy Yong Jin Yao and currently, an undergraduate pursuing a degree in Telematics in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT).
> (use of the coordinating conjunction 'and' plus the punctuation)
My name is Roy Yong Jin Yao, currently an undergraduate pursuing a degree in Telematics in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT).
-- Thus, effectively get a message across clearly and motivate others to act on it with no doubt. > (sentence fragment)
I look forward to working with you this term to iron out the wrinkles in your communication.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for the reply and constructive feedback on the self-introduction formal letter.
National Service have impacted me in ways like building up in disciplines and shaping my attitude towards listening and communicating more often with people. I was able to learn that I should communicate with the difference pattern of how I express myself in forms of speaking, writing and thinking instead of direct translating it from one language to other. For example, directly translating Chinese to English would cause an incoherent ideal being communicate to other.
My NS unit had a great communication culture where we could freely give suggestion to our superior if we have an effective alternative to complete the task that was assigned to me.
Best Regards,
Roy Yong Jin Yao
Hi Roy, i have fun reading your introduction letter.
ReplyDeleteJust a opinion of mine,
Good flow of content.
The weakness can be separated from your strength in another paragraph.
The structure of the content can be improve further.
Overall, i have a better understanding of you after reading it. I hope to know you more in the coming months, looking forward to working with you! Cheers!
Hey Roy , I think you have done a good job!
ReplyDeleteYou have a clear introduction with teh purpose of the letter well stated.
Each of your paragraph has a specific topic.
Good format.
Keep it up!
Dear Chuangyuan,
DeleteThank you for reading my post on self-introduction letter and thank you for the encouragement given for this post.
Yours Sincerely,
Roy Yong
Hi Roy,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I had a pleasant time reading your introduction letter.
The usage of acronyms was great and I thought the content was fairly solid as I got to know you better through it. However, I felt that the usage of verb forms and the paragraphing can be worked on.
Otherwise, the letter was great in my opinion. Look forward to working together with you in the coming months!
Regards,
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
DeleteThank you Michelle for reading my introduction letter and the constructive feedback on the paragraphing.
Best Regards,
Roy Yong Jin Yao